We all know that Halloween is my shit - so I figured I'd do a little wrap up post here for you all to show you some of my own personal Halloween accomplishments, as well as list for you all some things I realized I've learned this year.
I put some of my makeup skills to work this year, on both the kids that I nanny & my boyfriend's brother who decided he was going to be "guy in flannel shirt with zombie makeup" :
Chloe was a vampire & unfortunately, the fangs were a little too big for that teeny little mouth of hers! She still looked pretty spooky & cute, though :)
Graci rocked the zombie look & she had the creepy facial expression DOWN. She was scaring the crap out of me everytime she looked at me.
..And here we have Nick looking like a fool, as usual :)
His little head scar thing turned out pretty good, though.
Boyfriend & Myself were the "Leg Lamp" & Ralphie as the "Pink Nightmare" from the movie "A Christmas Story". If you've never seen it.. well.. I'm not sure where you've been for the past 25 years.
Standing on one leg for all those pictures was harder than you'd think.. And yes, we made both of the costumes! The pink sleeper thing was bought at Target but we obviously had to altar the crap out of it so it looked like Ralphie's pajamas. I love being creative on Halloween :)
But anyways, we all know how much I love uncreative hoes on Halloween. Probably one of my favorite things is watching them get sloppier and sloppier as the night progresses and they eventually vomit/spill on their $70 "dresses".. I'm all about being creative on this holiday, and honestly - it's way cheaper to be creative than it is to be slutty. But thanks to these lovely ladies, I've learned quite a few things that I've never known before. So I figured I'd share my top 10 favorites:
1. Female devils always wear bow ties. This is a requirement in the underworld. It is even more realistic looking if the aforementioned bow tie contains sequins and/or glitter.
2. The is alive and well. And GOOD NEWS! She has a new friend this year & she's $60.00 worth of wonder.
3. You aren't truly a "firefighter" or "the queen of hearts" or anything else with a skirt above the buttcheeks UNLESS you are wearing knee high stockings with bows on them and/or boots. Nobody will understand your costume if you do not wear these.
4. On Halloween weekend ONLY - your gut disappears. So XS spandex sailor costumes for EVERYONE! Just be sure to change before midnight on October 31st or you'll look like a shiny stuffed sausage.
5. Pile on that eyeliner, because you can't be a slutty bumble bee or ladybug without 6x more eyeliner than you usually wear. This is obvious. Insects love eyeliner.
6. The Naughty Schoolgirl costume is and always will be the most original thing you can ever be. PERIOD. But please - be sure to wear your hair in pig tails because every girl I've ever known who has slept with a teacher has always had her hair in pig tails.
7. When you have your picture taken, people will have a tough time figuring out what you are unless you pose in a manner that displays your ass. Whether it be bent over to the side, a backshot while looking over your shoulder, or anything along those lines - it will help us understand that you're a cheerleader, princess, lady gaga, etc...
8. If you want people to think highly of you - be a playboy bunny. Enter a costume contest with that one, too - not many people are creative enough to come up with something that unique.
9. A green dress makes you Robin Hood, a white dress makes you an Angel, and a black dress makes you a Gangster. Don't let anybody tell you differently.
10. And finally - I still hate the referee costume more than anything. Ever.
Hope you all had Happy, CREATIVE, Halloweens!!